Questions for Self-Reflection and Discussion

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At the moment we become Christians, God begins a work in us to transform us into the likeness of his Son (Rom. 8:29). Ultimately, God himself starts, continues, and finishes this work in us (Rom. 8:28–30; Eph. 1:3–14; Phil. 1:6; 2:12–13). But we must do our part, for example, by delighting in God’s Word and obeying him (Ps. 1:2; James 1:22; Jude 21).

Below I list two sets of questions (one shorter and one longer) that help us reflect on many of the factors that contribute to our growth as Christians—factors that are under our control. Use these questions regularly for self-reflection and for discussion with others. As you use these questions, consider recording some of your thoughts and prayers in a journal.

As we become more self-reflective and transparent (both with God and with others), our temptations, sins, and suffering will become more apparent as well. Take heart that the grace and love of God, displayed most powerfully at the cross of Jesus Christ, is more than enough to forgive you and enable you to keep going (Rom. 5:8; 2 Cor. 12:9; Phil. 4:13).

Overarching Questions

Use the following questions for more frequent personal reflection, whether individually or as you discuss them with other Christians.

1. Listening to God

  • What do I believe God is saying to me through the Bible (in particular)?

  • What do I believe God is saying to me through other Christians (including my church leaders)?

  • What do I believe God is saying to me through the Holy Spirit directly (such as areas of personal conviction regarding sin, specific people he wants me to help, or sharing my faith more boldly)?

2. Obstacles to Your Relationship with God and Others

  • What sinful desires, thoughts, emotions, actions, and words stand between me and God? Between me and others?

  • In these areas, what does it look like specifically to turn from sin and turn to God?

  • What does it look like to make things right with others and, where appropriate, to reengage a relationship?

 3. Responding to God

  • What desires do I want to bring before God in prayer?

  • What is God calling me to start doing? To stop doing? To modify what I am doing? For example, is God calling me to eliminate certain temptations from my life?

  • In what areas of my life is God calling me to trust him for things that are beyond my control?

  • What is God doing in my life that is worthy of celebration?

Detailed Questions

Use the following questions for more specific reflection, particularly if you feel like you have drifted from connecting with God and his people (which happens to all of us). For example, consider using these questions during a private retreat or with a Christian mentor.

1. Bible Intake

  • At least five days a week, how much time do I plan to set aside for personal Bible reading and prayer? Ideally, what time do I need to go to bed and what time do I need to wake up to make that happen?

  • What is my plan for reading the Bible regularly? How well am I following this plan?

  • What is my plan for listening to Bible teaching (such as sermons and audio recordings)? How well am I following this plan?

  • What is my plan for memorizing Scripture? How well am I following this plan?

2. Prayer

  • What are my strongest desires in each of these areas?

    • my character development (such as growing in faith, hope, love, and holiness)

    • my relationships and service within my family

    • my relationships and service within my local church

    • my service in the wider world

    • my primary activity during the day (such as studying as a student, being a stay-at-home parent, and/or working)

    • my financial giving to my local church, spending, and saving

    • helping specific non-Christians to know God for the first time

    • helping specific Christians to know God better

  • How often and consistently have I brought these desires before God?

  • What is my plan for praying for others in my life? How well am I following this plan?

3. Personal Holiness

  • Am I loving, valuing, or trusting in someone or something more than God?

  • Of which specific sins do I need to repent?

  • To what extent am I experiencing anger, sadness, anxiety, or shame? What do those emotions tell me about how I am relating to God and to others?

  • What steps do I need to take to remove sin and avoidable temptation from my life?

  • How can I replace sinful activities with godly activities (such as Bible reading, studying Christian resources, and meeting with other Christians)?

4. Relational Holiness

  • Is there anyone from whom I need to separate (such as ending a God-dishonoring dating relationship)?

  • Is there anyone to whom I need to apologize?

  • Is there anyone I need to serve?

  • Is there anyone I need to instruct, encourage, or challenge?

5. Family

  • What specific prayer concerns for my family members do I want to bring before God?

  • How can I serve and appropriately lead my family members toward God?

  • Have I set aside enough one-on-one time for members of my immediate family?

6. Church

  • Do I attend a Christ-centered, Bible-explaining, Great Commission-advancing church?

  • Am I sharing life with a smaller number of Christians? With them, am I being both honest and open about my personal desires, struggles regarding sin, and areas of pain?

  • Am I identifying, developing, and using my spiritual gifts in my local church in a way that honors God?

7. Primary Activity During the Day

  • Are there any ways that I am dishonoring God in this area of my life?

  • How can I minister to others in this sphere of influence?

  • What is my plan for using the financial gain from my work (if applicable) to support God’s work? For example, what percentage of my income do I plan to give to my local church?