Biblical Manhood & Womanhood

Two of the most controversial topics among Christians are how men and women relate to one another in marriage and how men and women relate to one another in the church. The topics are controversial, among other reasons, because many men are controlling, abusive, and do not value women, whether in marriage or otherwise. But once we study the relevant passages from Scripture, God’s teaching is straightforward.

For example, as it relates to husbands and their wives, I affirm the following biblical truths:

  • God calls men to lead their wives, by providing spiritual direction and being ultimately accountable to God for the spiritual health of their families. In this regard, husbands are above (or, perhaps better, in front of) their wives, leading as Christ led the church (Eph. 5:22–24; Col. 3:18; Titus 2:5; 1 Pet. 3:1).

  • God calls all men and women to recognize the many commonalities they share with one another, such as bearing God’s image, having a sin disposition and committing actual sins, and celebrating common access to God through Jesus Christ (Gen. 1:26–28; Rom. 3:9–20; 1 Cor. 7:3–5; Gal. 3:25–29; Eph. 5:28–30). In these ways and others, husbands stand next to their wives, highlighting their worth, intelligence, abilities, and the grace of God.

  • God calls men to be the ultimate servants, sacrificers, and protectors as they relate to their wives (Eph. 5:25; Mark 10:43–45). On one level, God calls husbands and wives to show mutual respect for one another and to serve one another. However, husbands have a unique call to lay their lives down for their wives, both literally and figuratively. In this regard, husbands are under their wives, laying down their lives as Jesus did for the church.

I rejoice that my wife assertively expresses her thoughts and preferences to me. I wanted to marry her precisely because she is such an independent, critical thinker. But I also appreciate her willingness to join me in modeling to the world the relationship between Jesus and his church (Eph. 5:22–33).

With all this in mind, I am a complementarian, for I believe that men and women complement one another in the context of marriage and the church. By contrast, and according to the three categories above, a chauvinist or male supremacist tries to control and dominate his wife, believes he is superior (in his very being) to his wife precisely because he is man, and believes that his wife should be his ultimate servant or slave. This is a formula for horrific abuse, whether in the home or in the church. And an egalitarian denies distinctions of function that are unique to being a man or woman.

The resources below demonstrate great balance in helping us think through issues like these, both in marriage and in the church.

Introductory Studies

The following works introduce readers to what the Bible teaches about biblical manhood and womanhood.

*The Danvers Statement: “The Danvers Statement summarizes the need for the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (CBMW) and serves as an overview of our core beliefs.”

*50 Crucial Questions by John Piper & Wayne Grudem (2): Clear and concise answers to fifty of the most important questions regarding biblical manhood and womanhood.

The Grand Design by Owen Strachan & Gavin Peacock (2): The authors outline their vision for “biblical complementarity.”

Designed for Joy by Owen Strachan & Jonathan Parnell (eds.) (2 or 3): Male and female authors reflect on how the Bible shapes their thoughts and practices regarding biblical manhood and womanhood.

The Masculine Mandate by Richard D. Phillips (3): A clear, articulate vision of what it means to be a godly man.

Eve in Exile by Rebekah Merkle (3): A clear, articulate vision of what it means to be a godly woman.

Biblical and Theological Studies

*Evangelical Feminism and Biblical Truth (the unabridged version) and Countering the Claims of Evangelical Feminism (a shorter version of the same book) by Wayne Grudem (3 or 4): No one does a better job of categorizing and answering the claims of evangelical feminists than Dr. Grudem. In the process, he clarifies what the Bible teaches about these topics.

Evangelical Feminism by Wayne Grudem (3 or 4): The author argues that evangelical feminists functionally reject the authority of Scripture.

God’s Design for Man and Woman by Andreas J. Köstenberger & Margaret E. Köstenberger (3 or 4): A biblical-theological study that traces these issues throughout Scripture.

Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood by John Piper & Wayne Grudem (eds.) (3 or 4): See, in particular, the chapters under “Exegetical and Theological Studies.” So convincing.

Women in the Church by Andreas J. Köstenberger & Thomas R. Schreiner (eds.) (4 or 5): Per the subtitle, this book is a scholarly “Interpretation and Application of 1 Timothy 2:9-15.” In particular, the authors in this book carefully explain the apostle Paul’s teaching: “I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet” [as it relates to those two functions] (1 Tim. 2:12 ESV), which Paul grounds in creation and the fall (vv. 13–14).