Helping Others through Personal Problems
Whether on a short-term or long-term basis, I have met with Christian counselors to help me through difficult challenges in my life. For example, I have worked on personal issues such as recovering from the verbal abuse I experienced as a child and adolescent, overcoming the fear associated with writing books and launching a website, and learning how to be a better husband and dad in the midst of ongoing difficulties as a parent. We can all benefit from seeking professional help in the face of life-altering, life-controlling problems.
However, most of the challenges we experience can be addressed well in the context of a God-centered, Word-centered, people-loving church, particularly within a small group of committed Christians. These challenges include:
Difficulties in resisting temptation and pursuing personal holiness.
Common struggles associated with singleness, marriage, or parenting.
Confusion regarding major life decisions.
How do we learn to help others through the trials in their lives? Broadly speaking, we must first seek to grow in our own relationship with God and others in the context of a local church. This includes being a student of God’s Word because it is our ultimate source of authority and guide for dealing with sin and suffering. It also includes learning to receive help from others, for example, as we work through our own life decisions. And we learn from speakers and authors who teach us how to address specific problems in our own and others’ lives.
Below I suggest resources to help you develop as a people helper. In time, we learn that while sin is always ugly and offensive to God, and while pain is always difficult to experience and watch, God gives us the ability to respond in a way that is pleasing to him and to help others do the same.
Suffering, Temptation & Sin: One of the best ways to grow in your ability to help others is to study the dynamics of suffering, temptation, and sin—by first applying the truth of God’s Word to your own life. As God conforms you into the likeness of his Son, you will be all the more equipped to help others through their personal problems. For example, the more aware you are of the idolatrous temptations in your own life, and the more quickly and assertively you turn to God for help, the more capable you will be in helping others to fight temptation in their lives.
Books by Skilled People Helpers
Additional Resources
Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung (2): Sooner or later, everyone needs help in making significant life decisions, such as whether to leave a church for another one, to pursue additional education, or to seek out a new job. The author provides excellent advice on how to discern God’s will, particularly as you seek God’s direction in various areas of your life.
Christian Counseling by Gary R. Collins (3): This resource outlines dozens of issues Christian counselors face on a regular basis, which will help you as you support others on a more informal basis.
Caring for People God’s Way by Tim Clinton, Archibald Hart & George Ohlschlager (eds.) (3): This book addresses a wide array of issues through the lens of Scripture and is one of the books I require as part of an an undergraduate course in Christian counseling.
A Theology of Biblical Counseling by Heath Lambert (3 or 4): Without minimizing the importance of skills such as listening to others and clarifying the nature of their problems, a large part of what people helpers do is teach others. This book provides an excellent theological foundation for the task of helping others. In a similar vein, see The Biblical Basis of Christian Counseling for People Helpers by Gary R. Collins, PhD (2 or 3).