Longing for Children

God often allows us to experience life in relatively-predictable ways: first we date, then we get married, and then we quickly and easily have children. But this pattern does not describe everyone’s path. For example, my wife and I struggled with infertility for seven years. We prayed and eventually adopted our son from Ethiopia when he was ten, before having three biological children. In our case, adoption was not a first choice, though we are grateful that God ordered our steps this way.

Below I list resources that address our longing for children and how to seek the heart of God in the most challenging moments.

Shattered by Gary Roe (1): The author helps readers survive the loss of a child, whether before or after the child was born. Along the way, we acknowledge how such an experience touches every part of who we are. I wish this book was tied more closely to the Bible, but it is still worth reading. In Christian community, use this book and your Bible to find hope and healing in God.

*Longing for Motherhood by Chelsea Patterson Sobolik (2): The author encourages women who long to be mothers but are not, whether because of infertility, miscarriage, or the loss of a child. While fully embracing the emotional challenges of those trials, she encourages us to find our hope ultimately in God himself, with children or without.

Hannah’s Hope by Jennifer Saake (2): The author encourages readers to seek God in and through the challenges of infertility, miscarriage, and adoption loss—suffering in a way that honors God.

*Adopted for Life by Russell Moore (3): My wife and I read this book in the process of adopting our son. We adopted him into our family, in part, because God adopted us into his family. Moore helped us to clarify and deepen our motivations, while providing us with excellent advice for navigating the complex process.